Knowing Your True Self

Who we think we are is at the center of most of our conflicts because rarely do we think we are our true selves. We so often let the world, family, friends, and “should be” highjack our identity. Underneath all of the self-recrimination, social constructs, and task-oriented selves is our true self. The true authentic self is who we are in our best, most self-actualized moments. Those moments when we are able to shut out the noise and just be. Sadly, for most of us those moments can be few and far between. In a large part, it is because of the level of noise in our daily life. There are two paths we can take to our true selves, and one is to cut out the noise; the other is to have our inner voice be louder than the noise. Shutting out the noise requires time away from devices, family, friends, and work which is often hard to get. Interestingly, I find that most folks are able to find time to shut out the noise once their inner voice is the loudest thing they hear, so let’s start there.

Having your voice be the center of your internal life is really about deciding that’s the way it’s going to be and then checking in to see if that’s true. When you have an automatic thought about an event or behavior, is it in your voice and is it your opinion? This means not the opinion that friends, family, and society have taught you “should be” your opinion but your true belief. It might be helpful to know that most folks' internal life is incredibly politically incorrect. That’s ok because, when you know your authentic beliefs, you can decide whether or not you want that to be how you think and feel about everything. It is important to have your own moral compass and judgment to locate from. When we are doing what we truly believe to be the right thing, we are better for it.

Locating from your own morals will let you see the distance between who you are and who you want to be. You can also then decide is the journey worth it? Did you decide to be someone that reflected your morals? Morality and being in alignment with our moral judgments generally results in us being our most authentic, and sometimes our most authentic self is not who we thought we wanted to be but someone much better than we imagined. The freedom to be who you are begins with you deciding that you have that right. I promise once you start the journey of self-discovery, you will be much happier and life will become a lot more manageable. Being your authentic self is the surest way to having more good days than bad.

Posted on 15 May 2023 07:47

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